mmmm wine...i mean mmm introspection

Time to pour it out with Shell…I feel a little selfish writing so much about myself…but for myself I really wanted to get these things out and Pour Your Heart Out seemed like the perfect place! And well I hope that maybe someone can read this and realize that they might be in a similar situation and that what I realized applies to them just as well!







Last night I spent time with myself. I sat in the backyard drinking beer, reading a book, and eating buffalo chicken dip for dinner. I listened to the quiet around me and realized how at peace I am right now, despite the turmoil that is my life right now. Something that I thought about was where that peace came from: was it from being okay with myself, with my situation, with just the moment? As I thought of all those things I sincerely thought about each one.


I though about being okay and loving myself. I even made myself say self-affirming things out loud…that was harder than you would think it should be. But I believed every word I said. I thought about what exactly it was that I was okay with and the things I decided were not the things I always thought I defined myself with. Most of my life I defined myself by what others could see: red head (technically), smiley, perky, and comfortable. But what I realized last night was that those weren’t how I really saw myself and the things that I was okay with about myself, and even like about myself. I like that I am a very selfless person. I like that I am willing to handle the hard stuff, even when I am not sure that I can handle it. I like that I can be surprising to people. I like that I can still do the splits. I like that I have passions about things in my life. And I like that I am still willing to discover things about myself and the life I am living. And while maybe that is not a very good definition of myself or who I am, I still think that it is a really good reflection of who I am.


Being okay with my situation is a little harder to explain… And I am probably not as okay with it as I really am. I am not okay that something I thought would last forever is now ending. I am not okay so much about the consequences that this situation is having and will have on my daughter. Or even myself. But I AM okay with the future. It will be different than what I expected and it will be scary and tough. But I have a future in front of me! A whole unfinished canvas to fill with the great and wonderful things I want to fill my life with. How could I not be okay with that?


And finally, being okay with that moment, it is just my nature not to like to be alone. I prefer the company of a friend of loved one, even if we aren’t talking but just co-existing. Some of my favorite times have been with friends in the same room doing completely separate and different things. So last night, alone in my backyard I felt my self leaning towards a lonely moment but then I realized what was happening and I stopped myself. I wasn’t alone. I had myself and so many friends and loved ones only a phone call or mouse click away. We are never really alone. We are only as alone as we make ourselves. Realizing that last night I thought about the fact that I like myself enough to spend some time with just me. So, I picked up my beer and just enjoyed that moment.






Oh and one shameless plug: click on over to my Stationary Giveaway and enter!

post it note tuesday- tattoos, spring, capris, and giveaways!

I seriously love post-it-note tuesdays...no just because i feel less pressure about posting a serious and contemplative blog...but i seriously also love post its!!


so here we go!!

Stationary Review and Giveaway!!!

Stationary Giveaway!

I have been neglecting my 26 before 26 this last month. Maybe because of the backwards, sideways, and anyway but forwards steps I feel I have been taking this month, but it is time to get back on the horse and get these 26 things accomplished!

I actually started on number 17 around the middle of February with a nice long note to my great-grandmother. I just recently received a really nice message from my grandmother just telling me to keep my chin up and I really wanted to send along a thank you card telling her I appreciate her thinking of me! And what better to use than the adorable thank you cards that Bill from deanpennandpaper's Etsy shop  sent my way! And you my lucky readers will get to share in my luck with a great giveaway Bill is sponsoring on my blog!

Bill is a teacher/ stay at home dad/graphic designer who makes the most adorable and trendy stationary you’ve ever seen! When it came time for me to even pick a product review I had a really hard time choosing! I finally settled on his Quiet Bird Personalized Note Cards, and mainly I decided on those because not only did it have a bird but also a CAT!! Adorable!!! 

The great quality of these cards at first intimidated me, (who wants to make a mistake when writing on such pretty stationary) but I was so excited to send along my thank you to my Grandmother in the pretty pink envelope! I can’t wait for her to receive it, I know an email will shortly follow, mainly gushing about the card!

One of the great things about Etsy is that the designers and shop owners are real people who put themselves into the products they create! So when I set up this giveaway I wanted to not only share a great product but also the great designer who created it, so here is a little about Bill and his Etsy store:

Bill is a special ed teacher and a certified personal trainer. He has taken the year off (of teaching...he is still working as a trainer at night) to stay home with his daughter while his wife goes back to her teaching job. They are expecting their second child (a boy) in 3 wks ...his wife will then be taking next year off and he’ll be returning to teaching.
Bill has always had an interest in graphic design, but never any formal training...just trial and error. He started selling some of my cards to some local stores in town and then heard about Etsy and gave it a try. Bill really likes that his cards are sold to people all over the world. He is fairly new to the Etsy world but he has already had a few sales to Australia and the U.K. Another AWESOME thing about Bill’s shop is that he donates 10% of each sale to St. Jude's Children's Hospital. To date, he has raised over $150.

Finally, in a tad bit that may seem off topic but that I think means a lot, if Bill were a shoe he'd be a sneaker. He says they are the most durable, flexible and resilient! I asked Bill this because I couldn’t actually see his shoes but I totally think our shoes say a lot about us, so I asked what kind of shoe he thought he would be! I like his answer!

If you would like to win a set of these note cards just enter my giveaway, the rules are below!

This giveaway will run from Sunday, April 4 to Saturday, April 10 at midnight. Winners will be emailed and announced Monday, April 12^th. To enter this giveaway you should:

1. visit Bill’s Etsy (deanpennandpaper's Etsy shop ) store and tell me in a comment what you would buy if you could buy anything

And you may for extra entries-

2. follow my blog (two entries)
3. write a blog about the giveaway AND link up to my blog and your store  (three entries/ leave link to blog post in each comment)
4. purchase something at the Etsy store (five entries)

Please leave a separate comment for each entry! (such as: I follow your blog or I love xyz in Bill’s shop) Also, make sure to leave your email address in one of your comments or have your email address visible in your profile.

Good Luck!!